Writer's Block

I’ve been feeling some writer’s block lately so I thought I would write about it. As of late it has been difficult to find the light when the atmosphere in our country is in such turmoil. I try to separate my political beliefs from this blog but I have to admit that it is causing me anxiety to the point where it is clouding my creativity.

I have mentioned in past blog posts that I create only things that bring me peace and joy. That is a rule that I will try to stick by. Considering that I put my whole self in my work, the content of my work is very important to keep me feeling balanced.

Rather than feeling pressure to produce work that other people like, I remind myself that I create for myself. I do it to reduce my anxiety and control my environment the only way I can. Times like these, I usually take a break from painting or drawing. I don’t force myself to make anything since that just makes me more frustrated in the end. I think that many creatives need to accept the creativity block that happens every once in a while. Go for a walk, watch a funny movie, anything to soothe away the anxiety and the block preventing you from being your true self.

I didn’t want to leave my readers hanging, so I wanted to send my love. Hang in there. Life may not make sense and we may feel helpless, but the only thing that we can do is work on bettering ourselves. Stay classy. 

Growing Pains: My journey to becoming an Artist

It has only been 14 months since I decided to pursue a career as an Artist. At first, I didn’t realize how much work went into being one, especially the part where you had to promote your own work. I am a naturally shy person. There are times where I get plagued with social anxiety. Talking and revealing myself to others can be a daunting task to overcome. But over time it has gotten a little bit easier after each attempt.

The first time that I admitted to being a Painter to another person was at an Open Studios event at my favorite local art store. There were a few artists presenting their work and even demonstrating what they do. I was so nervous but I managed to have a great conversation with Carol Aaron, an artist who specializes in encaustics. You guys should look her up, I thought her work was so cool! I even asked for her advice in how to get into the industry. She told me to be “stupid brave”, which still sticks to me today and motivates me to put myself out there.  

I think the problem with being an Artist is that you have periods where you are a total recluse, completely inspired by whatever you’re working on. Slaving away at your craft in the space that is your studio. But then you have to eventually come out into the world and shout “I’m an Artist! Here is my work!” Those are polar opposites that become extremely difficult to balance.

Standing in front of my painting "Stairway to Heaven" at the Pacific Art League

It is 2017 and we are inundated with the ease and accessibility of data sharing. Due to the progress of technology, we can reach millions of people through social media through applications like Instagram, Facebook and Twitter. Where once a website was considered a novel idea now is deemed a necessity. Where artists post videos on YouTube or make blog posts like this one. I guess what I’m saying is that I didn’t know that I had to be a painter, a people person and a computer guru all at the same time! Through a bunch of trial and error and consistently tweaking my website, I finally have something to show for it! I’m gradually building up my portfolio and hopefully letting more people into my world.

I think all this effort is definitely worth it. My problem is that I’m terribly impatient. I’ve grown up so motivated to achieve at the most efficient rate. Slow was not in my vocabulary. But that is what is necessary for me to hone my craft. It is extremely unrealistic for me to expect to gain hundreds or thousands of followers on Instagram overnight. As paintings take time to create, so does my career.

Scrolling through Instagram can be a mood buster for me sometimes. I follow so many wonderful artists and I sometimes get the green eye of envy. I end up comparing myself to their work and wonder about my achievements. But then I pinch myself because I am hindering myself by comparing whatever I do to some person I’ve never met. So then I resign myself to admiring those artists I follow and to work and be the Artist that makes me happy. I don’t expect to become a Master Painter or get famous and have a brand of paints named after me like Bob Ross, but I do want to make a mark on this world and show how I see things in my unique way. 

Background Noise: What I jam to while I paint

I don’t know about you but I like to have background noise on while I am working. Unless my full concentration is required for important adult things like taxes, I usually have some type of “noise” on.

Now I don’t have anything that’s way too distracting, e.g. anything that requires me to think or is just plain loud and screaming. I also don’t listen to things that may put me to sleep. What I am going to share is pretty embarrassing but I’m just going to roll with it. The various genres that I have in the background are the following: music, TV shows and audiobooks/podcasts.

Here comes the shame…

For the music genre there is a guaranteed way to get me excited and continue to motivate me to paint. My main source of music entertainment is…K-Pop (Korean Pop). I use YouTube and listen to a playlist of popular girl groups with perfectly synchronized and highly commercialized voices and dance moves. My husband is so used to my love of K-Pop that he even knows the intros to many songs and sings them to himself. There is something about this genre of music that is just so catchy. I end up singing or humming the chorus of a song while working on my current project. It reminds me of the whimsy and joy of being young which I try to convey in my work.

Also at the moment as it is the holiday season, Christmas songs are on full blast. I am a sucker for the old school Mariah Carey, Britney Spears and NSYNC Christmas singles. In addition, Michael Buble’s voice makes his smooth like melted butter appearance. I purposely have songs that evoke happiness and positivity. As a rule, I only paint when I’m in either a neutral or positive mood. The way I see it, painting is a reflection of myself and what I want to show the world. There are enough bad things out there that I don’t want to add to that garbage. Hence, I try to reflect in paintings an overall sense of hope and tranquility.

As for TV shows, I am an avid binge watcher. A very special breed of individual who ends up spending many hours watching a specific show. Since the shows are technically background noise, I do not put on shows that require me to pay attention such as Game of Thrones, Stranger Things, etc. Neither do I put on programs presented in different languages. I can’t translate the language or read subtitles while focused on my painting. What I do put on is still heavily entertaining yet allows me to be engaged in my primary focus, painting.

During the first few days of the workweek, I catch up on my professional wrestling shows. Yes, I said professional wrestling. You wouldn’t think I was into WWE but I sure am, big time. And I don’t want to hear those people saying it’s fake, blah blah. It just is something that doesn’t require me to think and is highly entertaining. My husband has accepted and further embraced my fascination with sports entertainment even going further as buying me memorabilia and going to live events with me. But back to the point. I play the latest show from the night before through Hulu and get straight to work.

Besides wrestling, I binge watch shows straight from Netflix. I went through the all the episodes of ‘Once Upon a Time’ recently and I don’t regret a thing. Other times I watch episodes of Futurama, Bob’s Burgers or Archer. As I’ve mentioned in my Artist’s bio, I am inspired by animation. If you notice in my paintings, I have a style that wavers between realism and animation.

Lastly, I listen to audiobooks and podcasts. At the moment my Audible app is playing ‘The Girl with All the Gifts’, a post-apocalyptic novel about zombies. I also alternate between several podcasts such as: ‘Modern Love’ a collection of love stories submitted to the NY Times, ‘Lore’ a narration of various urban legends and spooky stories, and a household favorite, ‘My Dad Wrote a Porno’, which is pretty self-explanatory. I highly recommend all these podcasts if you want to have a good time.  

Overall, I believe that it is important to have something motivate you or keep you balanced. Mine, is the background noise. I can spend hours painting and be so immersed in what I’m doing then to wake up and have the noise bring me back to earth. My collection of music, TV shows and podcasts are pretty embarrassing to say the least, but it makes me the person I am and the Artist I try to be.

I hope everyone is taking care of themselves and has a wonderful New Year!